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When is the last time you checked on you?

  • Writer: Candace Stallworth
    Candace Stallworth
  • Jan 10, 2023
  • 4 min read

Over the last year self care has been the forefront of development for me as I continue to grow as a mother, woman, business owner and in interpersonal relationships. Everyday I get more and more clear about what self care means to my life. Even how it has required me to be quiet (disconnected) in certain areas of life that was once so important to me. In order to keep developing towards goals in life self care has become a priority that is no longer up for debate or negotiation.




How do I define self care?

Self care for me, means the intentional time I am able to bring myself peace by engaging in a task or activities that benefits my personal happiness.


Personal happiness for me has been a life long task. Growing up self care was experienced through sports as I played softball and basketball majority of the time. This time gave me relief, this sport gave me an outlet. So now as an adult the shift has taken place to were sports are not my primary outlet anymore. That along has been an adjustment , but I'll explore that for another time to come. Another interesting shift in practicing self care has been managing my unofficially diagnosed anxiety. For over half my life I experienced seizures, many hospital stays, surgeries considered, head scans and medication. It wasn't until I have become a grown adult now that I question the reason for those seizures.


The doctor mentioned that I experienced seizures due to being overheated. However, I never remember having a seizure on the softball field or during the softball season. Now, I do credit God for my healing and I am grateful for being free from seizures and any brain conditions. I just sometimes wonder in thought did I have anxiety all along? Did I experience seizures because I didn't know how to manage my stress or what I thought to be stress? It still confuses me but if you know anything about me I will be searching life long why my seizures just stopped after the age of 15..


I say all that to highlight Self care reduces my anxiety and worries. It is the intentional time that I get to take for myself to problem solve, eliminate stress, be a purposeful parent, focus on the things I can control and so much more! Self care has saved my life! It helps me protect some of my most vulnerable energy, it helps me eliminate expectations and finally it helps me evaluate the stressors in life. When you take this intentional time and purpose it on your happiness , life becomes more manageable! You will have to lose somethings and some folks and that's okay!


If you no longer hear from someone it means that they have switched lanes or changed channels, and that is okay!


Here are a few things I have done to complete self care over that past couple years,

  • Self care Journal (Digital) https://forms.gle/96ZpRe2qJU76y7eV6

  • 5-55 Manifestation- I met my mentor about 3 years ago and she introduced me to this. Here's how it goes, for five days (No skipping or you start over!) you are going to write 55 times what you would like to achieve. Whether it be your dream, goal, personal development, whatever it is write it! The way your mind will set intentions on this thing? Just do it! Like Nike lol.

  • Circle of Support- Simple stated support those who genuinely support you. We don't have time for supporting out of guilt or supporting because it looks good etc. Make sure the people around you make you feel good as you make them feel, about your dreams and aspirations in life. Eliminate as needed, you are allowed that peace.

  • Seek Therapy- It is worth a try to speak to someone who legally can not tell your business (Unless you wanna harm yourself or somebody). Even if you only do it once, get that experience it could change and/or save your life.

Your life is worth living for and if you need some support from our fellow grantees (Thanks United Way!) and your community of people check out these resources below:


Queens Village

  • Mental Wellness Program. In collaboration with Poppy’s Therapeutic Corner, Queens Village is offering ten free sessions of therapy for our village! Register by clicking here

  • Virtual Wellness Journey. Jan 31st-March 7th. Zoom. Tuesdays and Thursdays: 6:30pm - 7:30pm. Zoom. Join Queens Village on a virtual wellness journey to learn tools to control and heal your spirit, mind and body; find community in the village and nourish your soul in the process. As Black women, we often turn inward to find energy to power on. Reconnecting with world around you while trying to find inner peace is a big task to take on alone. You’re not alone sis! We invite you to join a like minded group of Queens in a safe and supportive online environment over six weeks led by Black women wellness champions. Each participant will also receive a personalized wellness toolkit curated by Lilac & Indigo LLC to complete DIY projects that support your ongoing wellness journey. Register by clicking here

Therapist

  • Leah Steverson runs Blue Skyy Therapeutic Services LLC

Supportive Services


Mental Health Contacts

  • Mental Health Hotline. 513-281-CARE

  • Text or call 988


As we begin the new year, what better way to start than with some self care! Be intentional about you, do something for you everyday & know that it is priority to take care of you. Until next time #PositiveparentingONLY

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